genetic flaws, hair dye, and blondies

My mother is amazing.  I’m convinced she can pretty much do anything, from making my clothes to making me feel better.  She has helped me navigate literary theory, piano scales, middle school, AP art class, cooking disasters, hair disasters, and the marketing materials I write daily.   She ziplined through Nicaragua.  She goes to zumba.  She crochets.

Woman can’t bake a decent brownie.

Chocolate cake?  Check!  Fudge? Spot on.  Brownies, not so much, convincing me fully that the only brownie worth making comes out of a Duncan Hines box.  And while I’ve somehow not inherited her drawing skills, attention to detail, or ability to cut my own hair, I’m cursed by genetics to fail dramatically at brownies.

But you know what?  Fuck brownies.

My self worth isn’t defined by brownies.  I am not bound by the perception of brownies. Brownies are boring.   I’m not perfect, but this is who I am, and someone, someday, will love and appreciate the fact that regardless of test kitchen approved recipes, I  suck at brownies.  I am a beautiful mess with a complexity of flavor you can get drunk on; no matter how hard I try, that conventional chocolate dessert just will never quite work for me.

So I applied equal parts developer and bleaching powder to go from brunette to blonde and used this super simple, one-pot recipe to go from having no dessert, to having a plate of delicious blondies.

Yep, blondies are so much more fun.

Gentleman Prefer Blondies

Ingredients:

• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter
• 1/2 cup packed light-brown sugar
• 1/3 cup granulated sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1 teas  vanilla extract
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teas salt
• 3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
• 3/4 cup chopped walnuts or pecans
• Optional: 1/3 cup Boozy Bakeshop ButterScotch (If you’ve made this previously and are storing in the fridge, it helps to warm it up since it gets a little solid.  I usually store mine in a mason jar and place the jar, without the lid! in a shallow pan with about an inch of boiling water to avoid burning it. Obviously, don’t do this in a non-heatproof container.)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In a small bowl, sift together flour and salt.  Set aside.  Melt stick of butter in a 2 quart sauce pan over low heat.  Remove from stove.  Use a small amount of the melted butter to brush an 8-inch square baking pan.  Line pan with a piece of parchment paper, leaving a 2-inch overhang on two sides. Butter paper as well.

Once the pot of remaining butter is cool to the touch, whisk in both sugars until smooth. Whisk in egg and vanilla.  Add flour and salt and mix just until combined. Fold in 1/2 cup each of chocolate chips and walnuts. Spread batter evenly in prepared pan.  Sprinkle with remaining chocolate chips and walnuts.  Drizzle butterScotch evenly over batter and bake until top is golden brown and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, about 35- 40 minutes. Set pan on a wire rack, and let cool completely. Using parchment overhang, lift blondies from pan and transfer to a cutting board; cut into 16 squares with a serrated knife, using a sawing motion.

Store in an airtight container for up to two days. (I keep mine a little longer in the fridge because I like cold cookies.)

this plate totally brings out my eyes